Meta is Murder
This photo was taken in 2003, when she was just a few years old. We had so many adventures over the years; I don’t know how much less I might have lived, how much more closed I’d have been, had I not taken her home from the veterinary hospital where I worked. It was 2001, and she’d been found, hairless and bruised and infected with mange and scabies and worms, in Bayou St. John; they dropped her with us, but she was nearly feral. In taking care of her, I bonded with her and took her home over the reasonable objections of many there, who’d noted how damaged and neurotic she was.
Tonight, Abby and I pressed our wet faces to her head as a doctor euthanized Bayou. She was 13 years old, dying from a bleeding belly tumor, too weak to move anything but her eyes. She was always so tough and sweet, always my close companion. These past years in San Francisco were a dream for her, and I guess I’ll try to hang on to that now that she’s gone.
Here are some photos of her being wonderful. Aren’t some of those fun? We were so much younger, and Louisiana was so green. And here are all the times I posted about her. I don’t care about these words in the slightest; for some reason, I just want to share her with you, show you photos of how she played and ran. She was here, with me, for the happiest years of my life.

This photo was taken in 2003, when she was just a few years old. We had so many adventures over the years; I don’t know how much less I might have lived, how much more closed I’d have been, had I not taken her home from the veterinary hospital where I worked. It was 2001, and she’d been found, hairless and bruised and infected with mange and scabies and worms, in Bayou St. John; they dropped her with us, but she was nearly feral. In taking care of her, I bonded with her and took her home over the reasonable objections of many there, who’d noted how damaged and neurotic she was.

Tonight, Abby and I pressed our wet faces to her head as a doctor euthanized Bayou. She was 13 years old, dying from a bleeding belly tumor, too weak to move anything but her eyes. She was always so tough and sweet, always my close companion. These past years in San Francisco were a dream for her, and I guess I’ll try to hang on to that now that she’s gone.

Here are some photos of her being wonderful. Aren’t some of those fun? We were so much younger, and Louisiana was so green. And here are all the times I posted about her. I don’t care about these words in the slightest; for some reason, I just want to share her with you, show you photos of how she played and ran. She was here, with me, for the happiest years of my life.

A few weeks ago, Abby, her mother and I traveled to Tahoe, which I found more beautiful in summer than in winter, marauding bears notwithstanding. If you delight in photographs of the pale in clear waters, of scenic Alpine forests, of fields of wildflowers, or of dogs wrapped in hip or grandmotherly garments, you might like the complete set.
ZoomInfo
A few weeks ago, Abby, her mother and I traveled to Tahoe, which I found more beautiful in summer than in winter, marauding bears notwithstanding. If you delight in photographs of the pale in clear waters, of scenic Alpine forests, of fields of wildflowers, or of dogs wrapped in hip or grandmotherly garments, you might like the complete set.
ZoomInfo
A few weeks ago, Abby, her mother and I traveled to Tahoe, which I found more beautiful in summer than in winter, marauding bears notwithstanding. If you delight in photographs of the pale in clear waters, of scenic Alpine forests, of fields of wildflowers, or of dogs wrapped in hip or grandmotherly garments, you might like the complete set.
ZoomInfo
A few weeks ago, Abby, her mother and I traveled to Tahoe, which I found more beautiful in summer than in winter, marauding bears notwithstanding. If you delight in photographs of the pale in clear waters, of scenic Alpine forests, of fields of wildflowers, or of dogs wrapped in hip or grandmotherly garments, you might like the complete set.
ZoomInfo
A few weeks ago, Abby, her mother and I traveled to Tahoe, which I found more beautiful in summer than in winter, marauding bears notwithstanding. If you delight in photographs of the pale in clear waters, of scenic Alpine forests, of fields of wildflowers, or of dogs wrapped in hip or grandmotherly garments, you might like the complete set.
ZoomInfo
A few weeks ago, Abby, her mother and I traveled to Tahoe, which I found more beautiful in summer than in winter, marauding bears notwithstanding. If you delight in photographs of the pale in clear waters, of scenic Alpine forests, of fields of wildflowers, or of dogs wrapped in hip or grandmotherly garments, you might like the complete set.
ZoomInfo
A few weeks ago, Abby, her mother and I traveled to Tahoe, which I found more beautiful in summer than in winter, marauding bears notwithstanding. If you delight in photographs of the pale in clear waters, of scenic Alpine forests, of fields of wildflowers, or of dogs wrapped in hip or grandmotherly garments, you might like the complete set.
ZoomInfo
A few weeks ago, Abby, her mother and I traveled to Tahoe, which I found more beautiful in summer than in winter, marauding bears notwithstanding. If you delight in photographs of the pale in clear waters, of scenic Alpine forests, of fields of wildflowers, or of dogs wrapped in hip or grandmotherly garments, you might like the complete set.
ZoomInfo
A few weeks ago, Abby, her mother and I traveled to Tahoe, which I found more beautiful in summer than in winter, marauding bears notwithstanding. If you delight in photographs of the pale in clear waters, of scenic Alpine forests, of fields of wildflowers, or of dogs wrapped in hip or grandmotherly garments, you might like the complete set.
ZoomInfo
A few weeks ago, Abby, her mother and I traveled to Tahoe, which I found more beautiful in summer than in winter, marauding bears notwithstanding. If you delight in photographs of the pale in clear waters, of scenic Alpine forests, of fields of wildflowers, or of dogs wrapped in hip or grandmotherly garments, you might like the complete set.
ZoomInfo

A few weeks ago, Abby, her mother and I traveled to Tahoe, which I found more beautiful in summer than in winter, marauding bears notwithstanding. If you delight in photographs of the pale in clear waters, of scenic Alpine forests, of fields of wildflowers, or of dogs wrapped in hip or grandmotherly garments, you might like the complete set.

We were pretty certain Five would need to be put down, so we took some last-minute family portraits before we went to the veterinary hospital. Incredibly, he seems to have largely recovered, and he was well enough that I took him to Tahoe so he could have a last frolic, in case he is near his end. It was their first time in real snow, in real mountains.
Here are some photos of the dogs and the people I went with, including Ryan and Todd and Kenton and John and others. Sincere thanks to all the well-wishers who wrote to me about Fivey; Abby and I really appreciated it.
ZoomInfo
We were pretty certain Five would need to be put down, so we took some last-minute family portraits before we went to the veterinary hospital. Incredibly, he seems to have largely recovered, and he was well enough that I took him to Tahoe so he could have a last frolic, in case he is near his end. It was their first time in real snow, in real mountains.
Here are some photos of the dogs and the people I went with, including Ryan and Todd and Kenton and John and others. Sincere thanks to all the well-wishers who wrote to me about Fivey; Abby and I really appreciated it.
ZoomInfo
We were pretty certain Five would need to be put down, so we took some last-minute family portraits before we went to the veterinary hospital. Incredibly, he seems to have largely recovered, and he was well enough that I took him to Tahoe so he could have a last frolic, in case he is near his end. It was their first time in real snow, in real mountains.
Here are some photos of the dogs and the people I went with, including Ryan and Todd and Kenton and John and others. Sincere thanks to all the well-wishers who wrote to me about Fivey; Abby and I really appreciated it.
ZoomInfo
We were pretty certain Five would need to be put down, so we took some last-minute family portraits before we went to the veterinary hospital. Incredibly, he seems to have largely recovered, and he was well enough that I took him to Tahoe so he could have a last frolic, in case he is near his end. It was their first time in real snow, in real mountains.
Here are some photos of the dogs and the people I went with, including Ryan and Todd and Kenton and John and others. Sincere thanks to all the well-wishers who wrote to me about Fivey; Abby and I really appreciated it.
ZoomInfo
We were pretty certain Five would need to be put down, so we took some last-minute family portraits before we went to the veterinary hospital. Incredibly, he seems to have largely recovered, and he was well enough that I took him to Tahoe so he could have a last frolic, in case he is near his end. It was their first time in real snow, in real mountains.
Here are some photos of the dogs and the people I went with, including Ryan and Todd and Kenton and John and others. Sincere thanks to all the well-wishers who wrote to me about Fivey; Abby and I really appreciated it.
ZoomInfo
We were pretty certain Five would need to be put down, so we took some last-minute family portraits before we went to the veterinary hospital. Incredibly, he seems to have largely recovered, and he was well enough that I took him to Tahoe so he could have a last frolic, in case he is near his end. It was their first time in real snow, in real mountains.
Here are some photos of the dogs and the people I went with, including Ryan and Todd and Kenton and John and others. Sincere thanks to all the well-wishers who wrote to me about Fivey; Abby and I really appreciated it.
ZoomInfo
We were pretty certain Five would need to be put down, so we took some last-minute family portraits before we went to the veterinary hospital. Incredibly, he seems to have largely recovered, and he was well enough that I took him to Tahoe so he could have a last frolic, in case he is near his end. It was their first time in real snow, in real mountains.
Here are some photos of the dogs and the people I went with, including Ryan and Todd and Kenton and John and others. Sincere thanks to all the well-wishers who wrote to me about Fivey; Abby and I really appreciated it.
ZoomInfo
We were pretty certain Five would need to be put down, so we took some last-minute family portraits before we went to the veterinary hospital. Incredibly, he seems to have largely recovered, and he was well enough that I took him to Tahoe so he could have a last frolic, in case he is near his end. It was their first time in real snow, in real mountains.
Here are some photos of the dogs and the people I went with, including Ryan and Todd and Kenton and John and others. Sincere thanks to all the well-wishers who wrote to me about Fivey; Abby and I really appreciated it.
ZoomInfo

We were pretty certain Five would need to be put down, so we took some last-minute family portraits before we went to the veterinary hospital. Incredibly, he seems to have largely recovered, and he was well enough that I took him to Tahoe so he could have a last frolic, in case he is near his end. It was their first time in real snow, in real mountains.

Here are some photos of the dogs and the people I went with, including Ryan and Todd and Kenton and John and others. Sincere thanks to all the well-wishers who wrote to me about Fivey; Abby and I really appreciated it.

Abby and I bought some boiled crawfish from Mr. Lee at the corner store; we forgot ice cream, but remembered paper towels. With Bayou and Five, we went to the park around the corner, where we always go, and ate four of the six pounds, along with potatoes and corn. Abs even sucked the heads! I fed some of the feast to my dogs, including two cobs which they devoured whole. Then we lay in the grass and napped for a while, being kids and getting sunburned.

Abby and I bought some boiled crawfish from Mr. Lee at the corner store; we forgot ice cream, but remembered paper towels. With Bayou and Five, we went to the park around the corner, where we always go, and ate four of the six pounds, along with potatoes and corn. Abs even sucked the heads! I fed some of the feast to my dogs, including two cobs which they devoured whole. Then we lay in the grass and napped for a while, being kids and getting sunburned.

My relationship with Abby began when, because she couldn’t figure out how else to do it, she sent me a message on Flickr to ask if we could be pen pals. I have a difficult time with the material world, so since then I’ve only made her a few things, and even for Valentine’s Day she had to settle for flowers someone else made (which Syd helped order!).
Meanwhile, I’ve received scores of little things too amazing to believe, including a Christmas present I dearly love, too much to use: a tin filled with tiny cards, each bearing some phrase from our time together, some note, a drawing, and so on, like a card catalog of affectionate fragments. The idea is that I can open them when she’s not here, but I always worry that I’ll need them more someday, that I should save them.
For Valentine’s Day, she made me an adorable card with a fabric heart and a beautiful note on the back. It sits on my bedside table, with some moss, a cube of pyrite, little envelopes, and other gifts she’s sent.

My relationship with Abby began when, because she couldn’t figure out how else to do it, she sent me a message on Flickr to ask if we could be pen pals. I have a difficult time with the material world, so since then I’ve only made her a few things, and even for Valentine’s Day she had to settle for flowers someone else made (which Syd helped order!).

Meanwhile, I’ve received scores of little things too amazing to believe, including a Christmas present I dearly love, too much to use: a tin filled with tiny cards, each bearing some phrase from our time together, some note, a drawing, and so on, like a card catalog of affectionate fragments. The idea is that I can open them when she’s not here, but I always worry that I’ll need them more someday, that I should save them.

For Valentine’s Day, she made me an adorable card with a fabric heart and a beautiful note on the back. It sits on my bedside table, with some moss, a cube of pyrite, little envelopes, and other gifts she’s sent.

"My dog barks some. Mentally you picture my dog, but I have not told you the type of dog which I have. Perhaps you even picture Toto, from The Wizard of Oz. But I warn you, my dog is always with me!”
And I will show you something different from either Your shadow at morning striding behind youOr your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
From this and that and Photophobia.

"My dog barks some. Mentally you picture my dog, but I have not told you the type of dog which I have. Perhaps you even picture Toto, from The Wizard of Oz. But I warn you, my dog is always with me!”

And I will show you something different from either 
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; 
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

From this and that and Photophobia.